#i can’t remember much outside of i think..

[bunnysdollette]

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁ start acting your age and not your shoe size love 👟✨

⟢ hey my wonderful angels! here are a few tips to start building maturity and stop doing little girl activities. this is your wake up call. the faster you realize this, the better

(also love this photo of brina)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ GET SERIOUS ABOUT YOUR GOALS

in this life I would say there’s about a 5% of people that actually become successful and fulfilled. which one do you want to be; the person who is happy and living comfortably years from now or the person that chose to follow what everyone else was doing like a sheep and ignored what they wanted to accomplish?

NO goal is too difficult. NO dream is too big. Muhammad Ali once said, ``If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough.'' So get serious about what you want in life or be left behind in the dust.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ STRIVE TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL

It’s OKAY to be different. Our differences are what make us unique and capable of what the next person can’t. Your strengths and your weaknesses will both push you forward in life if you learn how to use them properly.

You have to strive to take pride in your differences and be confident when people challenge your identity. Because at the end of the day the only person that knows YOU best is YOU. When you develop that confidence and self-assured mindset that nobody can tell you who you are because you already do, NOBODY can take that away from you.

Stop following the rest of the flock. If there’s something you dream about or want to accomplish that’s outside of the norm, that’s where your purpose probably lies. If you are a person different from the collective, you are meant for bigger things.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ LEARN WHEN AND HOW YOU SHOULD RESPOND

there’s a time and place for everything. I’m not saying you shouldn’t respond to disrespect, because that makes it like other people can do the same to you and you won’t do anything, but depending on the severity of the situation, sometimes it’s just better to ignore that shit.

if there are people you know who are partaking in these little kid activities like making up silly lies about you, trying to get you to fight them or argue with them, DO NOT feed into that.

They will call you scared, stupid, or whatever else, but that’s all because they’re mad they can’t get that reaction out of you. If someone is trying to take you off of your path, the last thing you should do is spend even an ounce of energy on them.

Your energy is sacred. Use it wisely.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT MATTERS

one of my favorite quotes ever is “it is what it is”. Whoever came up with that quote was extremely wise because it’s the exact embodiment of staying focused and not worrying about little kid shit that nobody will remember in the next five years.

What is Important to you? Drama, trying to conform, chasing things that aren’t meant for you, or reaching your goals, achieving success, and achieving fulfillment?

YOUR values should dictate YOUR life. You can’t say you want to become “that girl” and “level up your life” then turn around and invest so much energy in unnecessary shit that serves you no purpose.

And don’t think I’m saying this with any level of elitism or like I’m better because I’m saying this, I’m not. We all have shit to work on. But some of you have a lot more work to do than others and a lot more work to do to stay on the right path. This is your sign. Stop that nonsense

[ellieslittleslutt]

Girl Next Door .* :･ ｡ﾟ (part 2)

MEN AND MINORS DNI!!!

pairings: closed off!ellie x reader

you had just moved to the city to start your new life of music in non other than New york city but there are other things calling

cw: sweating, drinking, ellie being kinda a dick in the beginning, sub!ellie, dom!reader, oral and fingering (e receiving), lower case intended, i think that’s it i’m not sure.

a/n: got the motivation to do this so randomly so if it doesn’t make sense that’s probably because i was barely conscious doing this. sorry for the typos :(

wc 2k

not proofread

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

just woke you next to ellie. how did this happen!? gosh you don’t even remember how this happened, one minute you were hanging with her and the next your in her lap moaning.

you looked back at ellie. her face is so much softer when she’s asleep, so much more vulnerable. she was curled up under the blanket arm hung around you.

you almost felt bad for even considering leaving.

slowly shifting back down into bed, you pulled her back ontop of you closer to you rubbing her back as you watched her sleep.

when ellie woke up that was a different story. she immediately sat up pushing herself away from you staring at you just confused and scared kind of. ”what the fuck?” she asks not even knowing what to say.

sitting up slowly you reach for your shirt pulling it back ontop trying to reason with her “we just got drunk and hooked up” you tell her.

“yeah got that much i’m not fucking dumb get out.” she spat at you not jeeping her gaurd down. “jesus dude you could be nicer…” you muttered. she shot a glare at you “this is my apartment i do whatever i fucking want”

she kept staring at you her face stern but also nervous and kinda scared. she kept an eye on you until you were out the door and left.

since that night you haven’t heard from her or seen her in the shop anymore. when you would bump into eachother she’d keep her head down and walk past you.

honestly you had no fucking clue what you did to her to be treated like this so naturally you went to dina.

you asked her to meet up for a coffee to talk. you met eachother at a coffee shop between both your apartments.

once you got your coffees and sat down she already knew what you wanted to talk about “this is about ellie right?” she asks. take. aback that she already knows about it you nod “y-yeah..”

“her leaving you in the dust, ignoring you, pretending like you’re not there?” dina says more in a matter-of-fact tone. “yeah wait how did you know?” “she does this to every hook up.” ouch okay. you frowned sipping your coffee and dina speaks up again “look ellie isn’t one for getting attached but with you it’s different. i say the way she looks at your through the music shop windows, and the way she talks about you. she likes you but you can’t push her. if you try she’ll just push you away more”

“so what do i do?” you ask confused. she shrugs and leans back “be patient with her?” right. helpful.

after you guys finished catching up and talking about your music career and stuff you both made plans for the group to meet up at a bar.

while walking to work you saw outside a bar in the door that they were looking for singers to preform. you immediately went inside going to the closest bar tender. “hey i saw you were looking for someone to sing tomorrow ?” you say with a polite voice. the bartender looks up at you nodding “mhm you interested?” he asks you while pouring a drink for a customer.

“yeah i’d love to” you smile. “come by tomorrow and we’ll get you set up.”

once you left you immediately told dina about it, sending a photo of the flyer telling her that you all can meet up there tomorrow “YES OMG THATS SO COOL ILL TELL JESSE” dina texts back.

once you got to work you started helping some customers with picking out a guitar and some strings and helping some guy with his record player.

it was a pretty chill day when ellie came in looking very hesitant about it. she second she saw you she looked down walking towards the counter. you were leaning against the counter looking at her “hey” you mumbled and she mumbled a smal “hi” back.

she looked around nervously and had her guitar case next to her “i uhm.. wanted to get the guitar strings replaced and i honestly don’t know how to do it myself and i heard the prices here are good” she looked nervous like a little kid giving a presentation.

“yeah of course i can get that situated for you” you smile softly at her remembering what dina said. patience.. be patient.

you took her over to where you kept the strings and she got the ones you suggested clearly not knowing what to do, joel always did this for her. you sat down with her and started changing them.

“uh dina told me you’re preforming at the bar tomorrow?” ellie asks trying to break the silence and you nod “yeah you coming?” you ask looking up at her. “mhm.. i’ll be there” she said staring at her shoes. you smile at her and go back to her guitar

once you were done she payed and tested them out a bit before putting her guitar in the case “thanks” she mumbled and then walked away.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the next day you were getting ready putting on your nicest outfit trying to look effortless but still nice. you pulled on your shoes and grabbed your guitar case going over to the bar texting the group chat dina made telling them you’re on your way.

you stepped into the bar and spotted them at a booth and walked over to them. ellie was sitting on the wall side playing with a napkin folding it around with no end goal. she had a glass of whiskey by her. dressed in a flannel and some jeans her forearm tattoo prominent. she glanced up at you looking you up and down holding back a small smile.

dina hugged you and jesse said a quick hi and you sat down dina handing you a beer. “so you’re preforming? what song?” dina asks with a smile and you chuckle “not telling” you tease.

when it got to your turn to preform you set up sitting on the stool and start plucking at the strings of your guitar.

“chilled in kitchen of a city tomb

the light would flicker like a violet moon

the night was thicker than a smoke fume

eliza waited in her room”

heads slowly lifted from conversation to look at you singing including ellie.

“ben he loved her like he loved no one

the way she laughed and held a smoking gun

the way she always said what’s done is done”

ellie watched you intently, watching how delicate you plucked the strings of your guitar and tapped your foot counting beat. listened to the soft way you sang.

“but he is not the only one”

singing that line you looked over at ellie making eye contact with her singing those lines to her before looking back out at the other people.

“love is a gentle thing, yours is thicker than a velvet ring

“yours is thicker than a velvet ring”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

once you got off the stage you went back to the booth dina jumping up “you did so good! oh my god that was amazing!” she said and you laughed. looking over at ellie she had her head down staring her drink. you noticed how she looked a bit embarrassed and you decided to get up going to the bathroom tapping ellie’s shoe to signal for her to follow.

when you got there you locked the door leaning against the sink folding your arms “you okay?” you ask her as she played with her pinky and ring finger. and she just hums looking around on the floor. “you can talk to me” you say tilting your head.

“i’m sorry for ghosting you after hooking up… i was being a dick to you and you didn’t deserve it…” she mumbled quietly “and kicking you out yelling at you we were drunk and did hooked up that wasn’t your fault…” she added. your eyes softened seeing how vulnerable she is and you pushed yourself off the counter getting closer “it’s okay” you say softly with a smile and she shakes her head “but i was really mean and i really like you”. you look at her not knowing wether to confess or if it was a joke. fuck it why not. “i like you too ellie so much” you grab one of her hands still not looking up at you

“but there’s all those other girls and what if you don’t trust me?” she asks and you sigh tilting her head up to look at you. “i trust you okay? even if you’re scared of relationships and what not i’ll be here…” you say softly cupping her cheek.

she smiles looking at you, you faces close together “i really wanna kiss you” she mumbles “do it” you say and she smiles even wider leaning in to kiss you.

it was a slow kiss. she really meant it not like before on the fire escape. you smile against her lips cupping her cheek and push her against the wall making the kiss deep your tongue poking through. kissing against her jaw line and neck she sighs softly letting her head fall back “wanna make you feel good yeah?” you mumbled against her neck and she just nodded.

you unbuttoned her flannel showing off her tits and you smile seeing she’s not wearing a bra glancing back at her her face red “what they’re uncomfortable” she mumbles. you chuckle softly and kiss down her body unbuckling her belt letting them drop to the bathroom floor, looking up at her as you get down on your knees “gonna be quiet for me yeah?” you ask your hands going up her thighs resting under her boxers.

she nods biting her lip hand tangling in your hair “yeah” she says breathily. pressing along her happy trail you pull her boxers down a line of her own wetness connecting her to them.

“excited?” you ask nipping her inner things and all she responds with is a breathy moan. you kissing along her slit running your tongue in it and she jerks slightly already sensitive.

you part her folds and latch onto her clit running your tongue around the bud while she tries so hard not to moan as loud as she can.

bringing your hand up on her thigh you slowly push a finger into her and she puts her hand over her mouth eyes fluttering as you pump them in her.

“been thinking about this?” you ask against her clit. “mhm… fuck every night” she mumbles panting a bit.

pushing one more finger into curling them up she covers her mouth to let out a deep moan of your name and you could tel she was getting close by how tight she was getting “gonna need my fingers baby” you chuckle.

she grips your hair thighs trembling as she struggles to stay up and her orgasm washes over her as she rides out the waves. once you know she’s done you stand back up wiping your fingers on your pants and kiss her cheek while she catches her breath.

“fucking amazing” you say against her skin and she smiles “does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” she asks in the dorkiest way “definitely” you reply and kiss her softly “you’re so cute” you chuckle brushing her hair back.

when you got her dressed again and went out to dina and jesse dina having a knowing smile as she looked you guys up and down. “had fun?” she asks sipping her drink with a smirk and you guys don’t answer and just shrug before grabbing your guitar case and ellie’s bag.

“we’re gonna head home now going to bed early” ellie tells them and dina chuckles “mhm have fun”

it was going to be a long night.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

idk if the timeline is good or not so please lmk (i do cry to criticism). anyway here’s part two idk if i can make a part three but if you have an idea for it please tell me.

[mvmnbnv]

If only shipping was enough for me to overlook the questionable writing choices. It would make watching this show the easiest thing ever.

What also just really sucks about being a fan of Vi, is that 99% of Vi’s fanbase can’t see her existence outside of Caitlyn. I do like Caitvi, but there is zero interest in other parts of her story or her overall character outside of Caitlyn. Even her relationship with her sister is of zero interest to the majority of her fans.

I pretty much noticed only a certain demographic of niche Vi fans took issue with the awful writing and balant disrespect to her character.

Watching act 3, Vi really felt like a side character. I had to do a double take in what I was watching because it had become completely unrecognizable. Vi’s writing was just really upsetting to me. It just sucks that not only did the show trash her character, but that most of her fans don’t care about her personal feelings or the trauma she went through. They just expect her to be magically cured and care about nothing else in her life, only her girlfriend.

Really unfortunate that the shipping version of her character became canon. When I watched act 1 I was like, “It sounds like a shipper wrote this”, then I remembered resident shipper Amanda Overton is in charge of writing her character and Caitlyn’s lmao.

Yeah they massacred her all season really. She never makes any choice for herself in act 1, is pretty much a side character in act 2, and act 3 just made me think they hate her...sex in a prison cell where one she never gets pleasure herself and two when they didn't even have the decency to explore her trauma at all beforehand. That same genuine care that cait had for her in s1 is just not seen anymore. Meanwhile they give Jayce these poetic speeches about how he just wants his partner back and it's not even romantic, but way more thought out than whatever they did with caitvi. Vi calling herself the "dirt under caits nails" too??? My god...like I get that means you can't get rid of her but the least they could do after not giving a fuck about her all szn, not having cait give any cares about her aside from what we heard from other characters, and a gross sex scene, was NOT compare her to dirt of all things...like atp i'm convinced they fucking hate her and want us all to know it bc wtf, and how anyone can be okay with this is beyond me

[manhattanstrawberry]

𝙎𝙊𝙐𝙋 ━━𝙎. 𝙂𝙚𝙩𝙤

Synopsis: Suguru wakes up on a late Saturday evening and the soup on the stove can’t compare to the warmth he feels when you’re near

Tags: fluff!! intimacy, established relationship, pet names (baby, sweetheart)

Word count: 1k

Authors note: I love you Suguru Geto. Just a short Drabble I did in like 10 minutes because I really wanted to write for him. I hope you enjoy!!

Art credits: 521jie

He thinks he must’ve been a caring, loved king in his past life or possibly he fed every little duck in the city’s pond, small pieces of bread so that they barely went hungry ever again or perhaps a cat that brought nothing but happiness to a kind old woman. He had to have been one of the best people on earth in his past life because it was the only solid reason he could come up with to be blessed with the sight he can't tear his eyes away from right now. 

It’s simple, the sounds of crashing waves of a beach are nowhere to be heard, if you look to your right outside the large windows there's no Eiffel tower and if you were to look down the Trevi fountain is certainly not down below. 

It’s just you, in his shirt, wandering around the kitchen doing whatever it is that you're doing. Your upper thigh graces him every now when your body quickly turns, to find something in the kitchen. He’s got to get dressed soon and get his day started, preferably not at 5 pm on a Saturday evening but you had insisted he slept in this weekend— “catch up on his beauty sleep” he remembered you saying two nights before. You two ended up staying in bed for the day but his body must've been chasing rest as he slept through most of the day, the sun already setting. 

You're caught up in making "lunch", hoping to give him a taste of warmth, as you smell the flavors seeping into the air from the darling pumpkin dutch oven pot he bought for you a year ago. It was either the pumpkin or the basic red one and he just had to indulge in your love for decorated items around the apartment. 

He too can smell the flavors of lunch but all of his senses are taken by you. All he can see is you, he can still smell the lotion you apply right after your shower every night from the bed sheets he just unraveled from, he can hear the tap of your feet as you move across the kitchen and the small hums that leave you as you finally find the ingredients you're looking for, he can almost feel the soft skin of your exposed legs and arms that he kisses every night and right now he's craving the sweet taste of your lips he could never forget and always seek for.

He can feel the cool air on his skin, his shirt missing from his chest, decorating yours, perhaps you couldn't feel the chill due to the heat coming from the stove. The harsh sound of the wind along with the snow outside is drowned out by the closed windows, and he can hear the quiet jazz from the speakers hooked up to the television if he listens just hard enough. You concentrate on the pot on the stove, stirring with a wooden spoon and then bringing it up to your lips to have a taste. He watches from the archway, a little jealous of the spoon but he stays still just to indulge in the sight a little longer. 

You’re beautiful, bewitching and he almost feels homesick just standing a few feet away from you.  

He can almost feel himself getting warm just from the sight of you and the way you rub your eyes as the steam rises to your face. 

“Suguru, how long have you been standing there?” you placed the cover over the pot as a small smile settles on your face “Did you rest well?” 

He moves from the wall in slow strides to meet you as you walk over to him, he nods before taking you in his arms. He holds your waist bringing you close as his head falls to your shoulder. You settle your head on to his shoulder as he drapes himself on top of you holding you tighter. Your fingers run against his scalp and down the length of his hair, it’s soft and perfect, a little too much like him. He hums at the feeling of your hands in his hair and straightens up to look at you, a tired smile on his face as he places a kiss on your nose and then to your forehead. You giggle and the sound goes into his ears and straight to his heart.

He can feel the weight of his love for you coursing through his body and he wants nothing more than to take you back to bed and hold you even closer that the concept of space doesn't exist anymore. His hand rests on the back of your head, “What are you cooking sweetheart?” the other hand holding your waist close to him. 

“Soup.” 

He hums, feeling warmer from your arms around his waist and the idea of soup in his stomach. 

“Are you cold,” his hand glides to your cheek, his thumb caressing your warm skin. You lean into his touch moving even closer to him, the fabric of your—his shirt pressed against his bare torso. 

“Not really,” You sigh. “I felt warm over by the stove and then I came over to you, I still feel warm. You must've been cold though, I’m sorry I didnt turn on the heater.” You frowned at him. 

“It’s alright, I feel warm with you right here.” His arm tightened around your waist. 

“Put on a sweater or atleast a shirt, baby.” You tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. You let your hand travel down his neck and to his shoulder rubbing it up and down slowly to provide some heat to his exposed skin. 

“Hm, if I remember correctly, someone took it.” He looked to the side feigning sadness. You lightly slapped his shoulder before going back to your attempt of warming him up. He looked back at your face, his eyes, arms and heart filled with you as he warmly smiled. 

He’s just so endearing and sweet and he’s yours. 

“Get a sweater, okay? The soup should be finished right now.” You begin to pull away, but he takes a step to hold on to you a little longer. Your hand rests on his bicep as his face moves a little closer to yours. 

“I’ll put something on.” He kisses your cheek before moving closer to your lips, “I just can’t stand the idea of having soup before I taste you.” 

Divider creds: @saradika

© manhattanstrawberry please do not plagiarize or repost my work

[sapphiresaphics]

Having spent time now with the full series I still don’t feel the pacing issues other people seemed to have with it.

I get that as the episodes are releasing and we only have 3 a week and don’t have the full picture of what they’re planning it can be really easy to feel lost and confused.

But now knowing where they were going, a lot of those supposed “rushed plot lines” people were complaining about make sense. The importance of the Black Rose stuff now makes sense because it’s Ambessa’s entire motivation for why she’s doing the things she’s doing. It makes sense to take Ekko and Jayce out of the plot briefly when they visit the hexcore cuz that forces Ambessa to side with Singe. It makes sense why the Warwick stuff was being set up because that ended up being the catalyst to propel Viktor into being the Machine Herald.

Also, it makes sense now why Piltover and Zaun played such an important role in being the stage for where THIS story was set. I get people wanted the show to be more about the inequality, but the inequality was always just the set dressing for the main characters to be in and was never the central focus of the show. Not even back in season 1.

Like back in season 1 the inequality helped explain the characters motivations, but the central core message the story was telling was how people compromised their morals with good intentions only to achieve terrible results.

Jayce built Hextech to help the undercity and he ends up using it against them. Viktor obsesses so much over fixing his disease that he compromises and takes shimmer and in the process Sky dies. Silco dreams of a free Zaun, but it results in him essentially becoming a drug lord and harming the people of Zaun more than helping them. Caitlyn breaks Vi out of prison to help her hunt down Jinx, and in the process of having Vi return into her life inadvertently causes Jinx to double down and attack the Piltover council.

Inequality was a setting and a backdrop, but the show was never focused on resolving or exploring those issues much deeper than it was.

Also, about that pacing.. have you guys gone back and rewatched Season 1? The first 2 episodes are pretty chill with the pacing, but episode 3 goes crazy. And so does episode 4 and 5 and 6… like the pacing gets wilder and wilder as the season goes on until towards the end we are jumping from Silco reeling from nearly getting killed by Sevika to having a friendly discussion with Jayce on the bridge to being captured by Jinx. It’s FAST guys. Breakneck speed.

I will also say that rewatching season 1 gives me an appreciation for a lot of the parallels they had in season 2 that I missed. Things like “Remember Me” being the theme to when Vander attacks Silco back in season 1. Or like how when AU Powder appears on the dance floor with Ekko mirrors how Jinx approached him on the bridge in Season 1 Episode 7. Or how Jayce and Viktor invented Hextech floating up on the ceiling, and the series ends with the two floating in the ethereal plane together.

I maintain that a lot of these criticisms about season 2’s pacing are not as bad as some people think they are once you take the whole series together as a whole. Without that 3 year gap or the wait between episode drops, the whole series blends together much more seamlessly.

And then there’s like… season 2 episode 7? That episode stops all the forward momentum and resets our expectations. It provides us with context for some of the stuff we had seen and helps us understand the stakes going forward. When people are complaining the series is going by too fast I just can’t agree because that episode exists and it literally stops us in our tracks before ramping up again.

I understand that some side characters outside the central 7-8 mains weren’t fully developed much and that is definitely a valid criticism of the show… however I would also remind people that season 1 had a similar problem. Grayson was a fascinating character I wish I knew more about, but outside of a small cameo in episode 5 she’s just gone out of the series forever and nobody brings her up again ever. We never learn much about Huck. We never learn what happened to Clagger and Mylo’s parents. We never learn anything about Finn and what he did. We never learn more about the robot council member or the woman who has a clock on her neck. There are a LOT of characters who just never come back at all in season 1.

I dunno guys.. the more I digest this series the more many of the criticisms feel unfounded or a real reach for something to complain about.

[inwiste]

Had a dead dove mdtb idea… will explore it further later because I have been Struck

He’s memorized the wood grain now. An asymmetrical swirl on the one that crawls beneath the sole of his foot, reminiscent of a crashing wave. Dark splotches staining maple.

He remembers the sea, he thinks. The salt that stung his skin and lingered heavy in his nose. The sand gritty beneath his feet.

There’s one board lighter than the rest. An orphan amongst a sea of polished beige. It sits precisely three steps from the bedroom door. Four if he limits the extension of his legs.

The birds outside are too loud, even with the windows closed. The chirping stings in his ears. He can’t see them.

He tilts his head at a particular trill. A starling, he thinks. There are trees in the garden. Perhaps their fruit has fallen.

He wants to look outside. To find the sound of the call. Perhaps this time his feet will find solid ground. His legs ache from where they sit in the chair, dull ache flaring as he shifts, pressing into abused skin.

He walks with a limp, feet shuffling along pitted floor, heel scraping against uneven grain. The chirping has stretched. Grown. The vocalizations trail through the window, cracking on a higher pitch. It takes him 20 steps to reach the door. The distance hasn’t changed. The screeching rots in his ears, dying wails seeping through the wood and paint. It’s too bright outside. The windows are still shut.

The doorknob burns his palm as he takes it in hand. His fingers twitch. His wrists are ringed with purple. A flake of paint stains the handle. His head is throbbing, bone threatening to burst at the screams that flood his skull.

He opens the door. The voices stop.

Madara is waiting for him.

He expects the kiss that follows. He knows not to refuse when Madara’s lips find his, lingering for longer than necessary. The starling has started up again. The street is hazy behind Madara. It hurts to look.

“I didn’t expect to find you waiting for me,” Madara breathes against his lips. He smells of grave dirt and ash. Tobirama feels bile choke his throat, burning his tongue. “That’s what you were doing, weren’t you?”

The hand at his waist tightens, fingers slotting into fingerprint-shaped bruises already left behind. Madara kisses him before he can reply, tongue swiping across his lip, demanding entry.

Perhaps he could bite his tongue off. It would do nothing, he knows. He knows it would only make things worse for himself.

A particular shrill cry makes him wince, hissing breath escaping him. It’s enough to make Madara give him respite. Out of curiosity, he knows. Nothing more than that.

“There was a starling,” he finally says, voice torn and ragged. His mouth saw far too much use last night. “I thought I heard—“

The world goes silent again. The absence of noise is jarring, sound ripped clean of the space. There is no birdsong left.

“You heard nothing of the sort,” Madara finally says. His eyes flutter closed at the kiss to his jaw, lingering and sweet. “There’s nothing for you out there.”

He shouldn’t have spoken. Should have held his careless tongue. Sweat breaks across his neck. It stains rumpled cotton.

“Am I not enough to satisfy you?”

[sylviabit-thehand]

OKAY so here’s the aforementioned essay. Keep in mind I am a bad writer, I do not edit, and I’m writing this through the power of caffeine and two hours of sleep.

So I wanna start with Grayson and Drake, kinda comparing. Starting off, we don’t get a lot of history from Drake. The guy exists mostly in the information we gather from Andrew and Higgins. He seems to have a great mom and Andrew called his dad “harmless.” Drake as an adult targets children. The classic disgusting predator. Besides Andrew we know he targeted six more kids after him. However we don’t know much about his actions before that. The guy was insane, going after everyone available.

Grayson is very different in a lot of ways. We get a lot more information about him because his little brother gives us information and Jean seems to know a lot about him. He doesn’t have any jarring details about his home life. But Lucas says that he changed after becoming a Raven. As Jean puts it, “he’s not your brother, he’s a Raven.” A very cult-ish situation. We all know coach Moriyama basically beat a bunch of kids into becoming his perfect cult of exy players, so it’s safe to assume Grayson didn’t have it easy. Somewhere along the way, he starts targeting Jean. It seems to start with the intention of gaining Riko’s favor. I think this motivation continues to exist, even after Riko’s death because he wants to be Perfect Court. He wants his cheek tattoo. Now I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think his attitude went from simply being ruthless in his pursuit for success to a desperate need for control. Maybe some sadism. Remember Jean notes that Grayson seems to take some pleasure in the fear he can so easily instill in him.

Now look at Jean and Andrew; Andrew has long escaped his abuser by the time we arrive at The Foxhole court. He’s going to therapy, he’s on medication, and despite the odd violent assault against the foxes, he’s healing. Andrew is very much a fighter. Not always for himself though. Remember, Andrew took the step of GOING TO JAIL to escape Drake once Drake threatened to harm Aaron. He also saved Nicky from getting a beating with that move.

Jean, compared to Andrew, looks very normal from the outside. He’s not having violent outbursts and threatening people with knives lmao. But by the time we get to TSC bro is a disaster. He hates Riko, he can’t survive without him. He hates the Ravens, but they’re all he has. Jean does not leave willingly. He is saved by the people who care about him. That’s a parallel in my opinion. Jean is saved by the people he loves. Andrew saves himself for the people he loves. Jean doesn’t want to speak to a counselor/therapist. He doesn’t want to tell anyone about anything having to do with him, but he doesn’t actually push back when people find the truth. That’s a parallel with Andrew, who may share information, but does not allow it to go beyond who he chooses to impart it to.

Okay are you still with me? We have four people(two Humans) who all have their own starting points in AFTG.

Now let me get to the moment of implosion Jean and Andrew both experience.

Grayson and Drake both return to inflict more trauma on their victims. For Jean, he thinks he’s going to have a sort of reconciliation with Lucas. Andrew goes to let Nicky have his reconciliation with their family. Both have similar goals, but again, Andrew is only doing this for his family. Jean is almost bullied into it. Unfortunately both of them get ambushed by their abusers. Interestingly enough, if we dig far enough, we can blame Riko for all of it. Grayson targeted Jean because of Riko’s Perfect Court. Drake goes back for Andrew because Riko convinces him to. For Andrew, he basically relives the trauma. In a huge way. Jean relives his trauma in a smaller way(note Grayson biting). Jeans reaction is to withdraw into himself, to go cold. Andrew’s first reaction is laughter. And then he immediately checks to see if his family is okay.

An interesting thing to note is Drake uses Andrew’s family against him. Grayson uses his OWN family against Jean. (I’ll touch on this again in a minute)

Something I find super interesting is almost immediately after both of these traumatic events BOTH men have to interact with Neil. For Andrew, he’s surrounded by his family. Neil, Kevin, Nicky, and Aaron. His twin, Aaron, has just murdered his rapist with Neil’s racquet. Jean is simply patched up and shipped home, where Neil picks him up and provides him with a LOT of peace one way or another. Andrew’s recovery process is basically “go sober up so you can properly heal,” while Jean therapeutically destroys the hateful messages the Raven’s left for him.

Now Id like to talk about the motives and underlying causes for Andrew and Jean’s lives. For Andrew, bro is actually very selfless. Everything he does is for family. He gives off “nothing to lose” vibes but in reality everything he does is for his people. This is something not even his own twin realizes until Neil points it out. I think Drake must’ve known this. He doesn’t corner Andrew somewhere, he uses his own family against him. Andrew protects Cass by not revealing her son as a rapist, protects Aaron from that rapist, and in general goes around making sure the foxes are safe and healthy. We see a measure of trust he puts in people. He gives Neil his armbands before he’s taken to the hospital, he has various foxes drive his car for him. Jean is quite the opposite. He has no one. And this is why Grayson’s methods for getting him aren’t super strategic. He simply barrels through a gate, his little brother, and attacks Jean. All of this to say that Jean has no one to worry about but no one to save him. When Neil reveals that they are now owned by Ichirou and NOT Riko, Jean doesn’t actually have any sort of joy from that. He’s lost, he’s confused, and even worse he’s angry. Throughout TSC it’s revealed that Jean is actually kind of Jealous of Kevin and Neil. Because they have people to live for. Jean feels kind of like a boat lost at sea. He’s not selfish in that he’s not throwing himself into danger like Andrew does, he just has no one. All he had was the Ravens. Everything he does is for himself and because of the whole “I am Jean Moreau, I have always gotten exactly what I deserve” his progress is slower than we may be used to. But honestly bro is doing so much. He’s got nothing, but he’s trying anyway. In a way he’s kinda right? Neil, Andrew, and Kevin are lucky. Because they have family. Jean is only existing for himself. Andrew and Jean are SO different but also there’s those shadows of similarities. Enough that even Jean sees it, as is revealed in the “So Drake wasn’t a biter,” line.

Lastly I’d like to consider the man the myth the legend Neil Josten. Because he has an important role in both of these men’s lives. Not to mention Drake and Grayson’s lives(or lack thereof) Now don’t get me wrong, Aaron deserves ALL the credit for bashing in Drake’s skull. But also let’s not forget Neil literally handed him the weapon. Neil witnessed the carnage of the death. And more importantly Neil learned a lesson on how devastating people like Drake and Grayson are. Even though he did not experience this particular trauma, he watched Andrew (the person constantly describe as a STEADYING person) crumble. So then Neil comes across Jean, the man who took Riko’s wrath in his and Kevin’s stead, the man who SHOULD have been his partner. And this guy reveals he has his own Drake of sorts. It’s safe to make the assumption that Neil can see Andrew in Jean. Only it’s worse because Jean doesn’t have anyone. There’s no twin carrying a racquet flying to his rescue. Jean is alone and his attacker is still out there, a threat hanging in the air. Neil, the FASTEST striker in the NCAA, was not fast enough to save Andrew. He was outrun but Aaron the midget. Well now it’s HIS turn to take out a rapist. 🥰 Only Neil isn’t much for smashing in heads. He’s a mafia kid, so ofc he’s gotta hire someone. Over DINNER no less. He provides Jean with support. Even better, he gives him discretion. Jean has just stepped into a very different world from Edgar Allen. TSC leaves us with the start of something that actually gives me shivers. Jean had no one. Now, he has the potential to have everything Kevin and Neil have. And not to be cheesy but I don’t think he’s letting that go any time soon.

THATS ALL! Didn’t expect anyone to read this but sorry for my scattered brain theories and ideas.

I could write essays on Drake vs Grayson and Jean vs Andrew.

[kittykatninja321]

On both a watsonian and doylist level Dick Grayson is white passing

[titsthedamnseason]

it’s not funny anymore. i need xander and spencer’s book

[the-casbah-way]

grabs my computer screen and starts shaking it how to cure gender dysphoria HOW TO CURE GENDER DYSPHORIA

[edwardseymour]

‘and she’s remembered as the kind one.’

damn. shame ab terrorised her stepdaughter and abandoned her sister-in-law and wished all spaniards were at the bottom of the sea and demanded coa’s daughter’s baptismal cloth and gloated let them grumble in her motto and decorated her personal possessions with falcons devouring pomegranates ig—

[bambeebirdie]

Alright so I just finished Earthspark and boy fucking howdy do I have opinions, but I’m not talking about those right now because I’m tired and the ending broke me in such a way I no longer care about anything.

What I would like to say though is I think Tanatulas should have been replaced with Shockwave in that on episode he had with Nightshade. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Tanatulas. He was literally so good, I loved his designs and his vibes and the only bad thing about him is that he never said his pronouns back. But really think about it. He didn’t have to be there. Earthspark spends too much time with the Maltos to really develop anyone so the more characters you add the more everything struggles.

Tanatulas showed up for one episode, he’s not even in the finale. Shockwave was there though and vaguely important, but it doesn’t make sense for him to just suddenly be okay with the Maltos. Unless he took Tanatulas role. Then his sudden willingness to help them would have made so much more sense. It also wouldn’t have been a very hard change, just as a whole, because neither Tanatulas or Shockwave are that important.

Just give Nightshade a line about how they should save Shockwave because they trust him and well everyone else acts the same.

Shockwave even fills a similar general role as Tanatulas being a weird scientist who care more about their science than the war. So it really wouldn’t be a hard switch and would make Shockwave make more sense. If you want to go further too Shockwave doesn’t even have a normal vehicle mode so he really could have given similar lines about alt modes to Nightshade.

Obviously Shockwave actual introduction episode would be different or maybe he’d just get replaced entirely but I really don’t think any of those changes would be too hard. Because again, he’s just not important enough for any changes to his character to be hard.

Tanatulas in Earthspark doesn’t validate his existence much as is. I really do love him, but he’s replaceable and just clutters an already poorly handled cast. While I think it would be cool if he was just more important they clearly didn’t want that by not even giving him a finale shot. So I do think just swapping his episode with Shockwave (and whatever other alterations are needed to make that perfect) fixes the problem with having too many underdeveloped characters since it removes one character and in the process developes another.

[ratfreecog]

How do you think the Curtis parents would have reacted to Soda being FTM?

Assuming you meant mtf since that is always what I talk about, not that it really matters unless you are actively trying to learn all the terms 👍

I usually choose to ignore a large amount of transphobia in this au because as a trans person. I much prefer when our stories are happy and focused on good things and connections rather than the same hate I already have to deal with in real life. So. I think her parents would have been fine with it!

More in depth, I think they were confused. They’d never heard of anything like this before. They aren’t hateful, but they just don’t know anything. Don’t know what it is, what to say, if it was something wrong or right or anything at all. They just knew that their kid was the happiest they’ve ever been, so that’s what they choose to see. If that means acting like a girl, then who cares if they understand or not? It’s making their kid happy.

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

My heart is soooo full of love guys

[rosicheeks]

🌈

[okcoolthanks]

Two rats having lunch

Two rats having lunch

The vermin

The vermin

Enthusiastically munch!

TWO RATS

ON THE GROUND

EATIN FOOD

GRILLED CHEESE AND

TOMATO SOUP